The Press

I haven't written a blog in some time. I usually write them when the inspiration hits me...and it just did. I was reading a blog from everyone's apostolic and it talked about surrendering to God and being the clay in the potters hand. As I was reading it I was saying to myself, "hey that sounds like my life the past 6-12 months." The blog talked about how God never forces anything on us, but it talked about the power of submitting to the potter. I've prayed some crazy desperate things...all to which I won't reveal. Crazy to some if I told them but not to me.  In my asking I had to be prepared for the trial or the press. In my desperation I cried something we most commonly say without thinking..."Do what you have to do to me Jesus to get me to that place you want me to be!" Well when I said it to God I affirmed the statement with, "God I told you to do this and I am aware of what it means." I got bold with God because my heart's desire was and is to complete His ultimate purpose for my life. Due to what I asked I began to go through a growth process. Literally feeling the strain of being in the press or on the potters wheel. Feeling sometimes that I wasn't going to make it if it went on too much longer, thinking I didn't like being in such an uncomfortable place and sometimes almost wishing I had never prayed that prayer. But God is so good he allows us to look at where he has brought us from. A year ago, 6 months ago, even 3 months ago I wasn't ready yet. God was still trying to work some things out of me and work other things into me. He was preparing a place for me and preparing me to be in that place. I wasn't ready to leave my church or my kids. But as I look back today I know  this stage in my life requires complete submission and obedience to His will and the way He is leading me to fulfill a certain purpose. Don't get me wrong it still is not comfortable and it doesn't feel good, but I only have The fulfillment of God's purpose in my life to look forward to. Everyone does not always understand the road you take and part of it could be because they aren't on it with you. Even though many don't understand there should be a level that your mentors or leaders agree lining up with the word of God. When Jesus went to calvary he was BY HIMSELF the night before not wanting to go, but the fact is he had  a responsibilty to at world of people. To be transparent this road feels lonely at times because everyone has their own road to travel, but it has taught me to lean more on God. To talk to Him more, to seek him out even more and to pour my heart out to Him more. When you can get there and continue in the press and stay on the potters wheel you will not be able to verbalize the greatness of it and what God has done.